He Gives Us More and Quiets Us With His Love

There is an “inspirational” quote that has been making the rounds for years that says, “God will not give you more than you can handle.” I can only surmise that the sentiment is supposed to bring comfort to those going through a hard time. It is supposed to help one recognize what inner strength one truly possesses, perhaps beyond one’s awareness but, also, that God wouldn’t think of putting more on one’s plate than one could handle. I can only guess that the reasoning is that a loving God wouldn’t do such a thing.

However, nothing could be further from the truth. Here is what the apostle Paul had to say:

“For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us.” ~I Corinthians 1:8-10

God gives us more than we can handle all the time. Ask anyone who has experienced an excruciating loss. Ask anyone going through unfathomable pain–physically or mentally–either personally or vicariously. My husband, Bruce, had a stroke on June 1. I found him lying on our bedroom floor, a few short breaths away from death. Even though he had been so close to death, it was initially considered a minor stroke, based on the CT scans, and the doctors were optimistic about his recovery. Sometime during the following night, he had a massive stroke; there was so much blood flooding his brain that it wasn’t possible to see the physiology of his brain on a CT scan at first, to be able to determine which parts of his brain had been affected. It was a huge guessing game for quite some time. The neurosurgeon was as pessimistic (“realistic”) as he could possibly have been about Bruce’s prognosis. He gave us very little hope and suggested we consider Bruce’s “quality of life” when making decisions about how to proceed with his care.

But God…God had some pretty magnificent plans for Bruce, beyond what the medical staff could possibly have imagined. Very, very slowly, his body and mind came back to life. His journey of healing and recovery over 5 1/2 months is detailed on my CaringBridge page found at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/brucebreeding. Did God give Bruce more than he could handle? That’s a rhetorical question. He couldn’t move at first, couldn’t speak, was on a ventilator and had numerous tubes running in and out of him. He literally had no control over his mind, or body, for that matter; his body was controlled by his badly damaged brain. He wasn’t able to handle the stress of his job that inevitably led to his stroke and he couldn’t handle, or manage, anything at all after his stroke. He couldn’t “handle” A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. His stroke was a severe mercy sent by God to bring glory to His name.

By God’s grace, as time went on, slowly but surely, Bruce’s mind and body made a remarkably unexpected and miraculous recovery. He learned to communicate what he was thinking–at first, nonverbally, and later, one barely audible word at a time, progressing to a volume that almost sounded like shouting at times. In the beginning, I wasn’t sure if I would ever hear his voice again. And then, miraculously, he started singing! And laughing! The muscles in all of his limbs came to life; the medical staff said it wouldn’t happen. God renewed Bruce’s strength, little by little, one anxiety-filled physical and occupational therapy session at a time. He made great strides in learning to walk all the way up until the end.

But underneath all of that remarkable, exhilarating progress, there was doom and gloom. Bruce felt, and said, he couldn’t do it. Right in the middle of therapy he announced, on more than one occasion, “I can’t do this anymore.” “This is impossible.” “I quit!” Was he actually doing what he said he couldn’t do? Yes. Was he handling it? Um, no. I had many a spontaneous “come to Jesus” conversation with Bruce, trying to encourage him and cheer him on. I was so thrilled and proud of his progress, but he was not. One day I asked, ‘What about, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)?’ ‘What about, “With God, all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)?’ ‘What about, “Whatever you do, do your work heartily as for the Lord, rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.” (Colossians 3:23, 24)’ Bruce looked at me, totally spent and with very little expression on his face and said, “I understand it, intellectually.” Bruce was not one to mince words.

All Bruce really wanted to do, undoubtedly from the moment he realized that he had suffered a stroke, was to go Home. I knew that in my ever hopeful heart. But as long as we’re here on earth, before God calls us Home, I also knew we are to live our lives wholeheartedly as unto the Lord. We are to be content in whatever circumstances we find ourselves (Philippians 4:11). I was trying to do my part to help Bruce recover; I wanted him to do his part. Was Bruce handling it? No. Was it understandable from a human viewpoint? Without question. But never say that God will not give us more than we can handle. Because He does all the time. That’s the point. It’s how He gets our attention; it’s how He disciplines us; it’s how He rescues us–whether we are His child or not but–especially if we are His child. It’s how he purifies us like gold. It’s how He shows us how very much He loves us.

Then why do people think that and say that? Because they have a skewed view of what God’s love is–of what love, in general, is and what it isn’t. Some think that showing love means we give those we love what they want–everything, even if we know it’s not beneficial for them–and that it also means not giving those we love what they don’t want, even if we know it’s beneficial for them. Such thinking has given birth to entitlement and narcissism, big time. They are hallmarks of our society today, and it is painful to watch. It resulted from a massive pendulum swing through the past few decades away from the discipline and structure and boundaries that I, and many others from my generation, grew up with. Somehow, discipline got the bad wrap as being the opposite of love.

This is God’s love:

“My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord
Or loathe His reproof,
For whom the Lord loves He reproves,
Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.” ~Proverbs 3:12

And this is God’s love:

“By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” ~I John 4:9, 10

And this is God’s love:

“All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” ~Hebrews 12:11

I have so many faves, but here’s one more:

“For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty Savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, He will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” ~Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)

God was in our midst in an especially mighty, visible way from June through November. He gave us more than we could handle, and then some, and took care of our every need. He showed how mighty a Savior He truly was. He showered us extravagantly each day with His love and calmed all of my fears–I couldn’t miss it. Bruce finally went Home to be with the Lord on November 11. It was a victorious, triumphant, bittersweet night. He must have been so ecstatic to have been finally released from his broken body and to meet his Savior face to face. God continues to be my mighty Savior, rejoicing over me with joyful, comforting songs and scriptures that He places before me and filling me with His peace. He calms all my fears or, as another translation so beautifully puts it, He quiets me with His love. Amen.