Becoming Disentangled

I saw a blog post this week entitled, “Most of Your Stuff Is Worthless.” Ouch! How blunt! But since I have been in the midst of sorting through Bruce’s and my “stuff” for months now, it seemed very timely–I at least had to take a peak. The post was written by a lawyer who had just finished plowing through her mother-in-law’s estate, including decades worth of saved “treasures” belonging to both her mother-in-law and father-in-law (who had died 11 years prior).

Let me just take a moment to say to my children (if you are listening)–“You’re welcome!” I could have just shoved all of Dad’s things aside in the garage (and a few of mine) and left it for you to deal with after I’m gone (I gave that idea brief consideration). You’re younger and have more energy (but not more time, I realize). But, of course, you know how very long I have waited to “simplify.”

Anyway, the author, Siobhan (Irish–pronounced shiv-awn) Kratovil, goes on to explain why my stuff and her parent’s stuff is–for the most part–worthless. When I got married, one still received silver flatware and serving pieces, as well as china and crystal, as wedding gifts, in addition to “everyday” dishes. They were still very much in vogue. It was also a time when newlyweds often inherited furniture, often from both sides of the family, which we received with open arms. We never thought twice about whether or not everything “went together” or if it was our “style.” We truly appreciated having a modestly furnished apartment instead of very little furniture at all.

As Siobhan explains, “Baby boomers have glutted the market with their castoffs, and millennials, the next generation of buyers, don’t want it. Millennials hate both formal in-home entertaining and use of second-hand goods. With looming student loans, they tend to rent and move often. Who wants to be constantly moving a piano or grandfather clock from apartment to apartment? And furniture? There’s no market for so called ‘brown furniture,’ meaning any furniture (regardless of quality) other than the ‘mid-century casual’ furniture (think clean, lightweight) favored by millennials. Brown furniture is basically firewood.”

Wow! I have been living under a rock. I’ve never heard the term “brown” furniture before but, apparently, that’s ALL Bruce and I have (we had a carpenter friend build some lovely custom furniture for us years ago, and I still have a couple of pieces–but, nonetheless, they’re “brown”). I wasn’t 100% completely surprised that millennials don’t want my generation’s stuff because–it occurred to me recently–my children haven’t asked for one teeny tiny thing. It beats cat fights and family splits over who gets what any day!

Needless to say, the majority of my time over the past few weeks and months has involved going through Bruce’s and my “stuff” and determining the most lucrative way of disposing of it. I must say, I didn’t know how exhilarating it was going to be! Exhausting, yes, but the euphoria of people paying me to take my “worthless stuff” away makes me feel like I’m getting away with something! Facebook Marketplace and Half Price Books have become some of my best friends! I love the glow on people’s faces when they hand me money and I hand over my “stuff.” It takes the sting out of releasing things that used to have some value to us. And it is less painful than bringing everything to Goodwill and watching them dump it in large bins without batting an eyelash.

It has been emotionally draining to go through our “stuff.” Some of it brings a smile to my face. Other things make me wonder what we were thinking. Why do we have so many bookcases?? Because we (mostly, “he”) kept buying more books–not just for himself, but sometimes duplicates to share with others, whenever the opportunity presented itself. Why not get rid of some of the books before getting new ones? Never! He hadn’t gotten around to reading them yet, or he might need them for reference in the future (our collection of books was 95% theological in nature). I’ve sorted through books, report cards, certificates, pictures, receipts, writings, legal documents that no longer mean anything, Boy Scout uniforms, etc. It’s hard not to think about how much money we spent to have our stuff repeatedly moved from place to place without laying eyes on it in between moves. I recently gave away a glass and metal table that Bruce made in shop class in high school. He would not part with it under any circumstances; it stayed packed away for years. When I finally listed it for free on FB Marketplace (I wasn’t sure anyone would want it), people were falling all over each other to get it first (they weren’t millennials)!

It has become easier and easier to “let it go.” I can hardly wait for garbage pickup each week! No one wants our stuff–or, at least, most of it. It’s only stuff. And at the end of the day, I am feeling lighter and less encumbered and more hopeful than ever that, as I declutter our home, I am decluttering my life and emotions, and I will have less baggage and more of me to give to God and to share with others. It has been a long time coming. And by God’s grace, it came sooner than later for me. I guess you would call that a silver lining to Bruce’s Homegoing at what seemed like a relatively young age. I have the stamina to do this now.

On a side note, I am having the flooring in the master bedroom replaced, trading down from a king bed to a queen (our king mattress set was 35+ years old-yikes!), and making other changes to fend off dust-mites (to which I’m allergic). I spent the last 24 hours emptying out 4 rooms (it was a last-minute opportunity) so movers could move most of the furniture into the hallway so I can have carpets cleaned but also reconfigure the rooms so they are more functional than they have been. There’s a lot of “stuff” going on around here!

I have thought very often throughout this process that decluttering our/my home is like the ongoing process of purification–aka sanctification–that is constant in the life of the believer. Purging stuff is not as painful as the purification of our hearts and souls, but they both allow me to be less and less encumbered so I can focus more and more on glorifying God, enjoying Him forever, and fellowshipping with and encouraging the people He puts in my life.

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” ~Hebrews 12:1,2